I just realized...

... that I have a very bad habit of pushing people away.

It saddens me.--

I've just been thinking about certain things and (I'm quite sure that this has been established) the future really likes to be a bitch. Pondering about the course of my summer, it dawned on me how lonely it could possibly be.

Practically everyone is going to be gone. The loves of my life are all heading off with their own plans. The Deca kids, no doubt, have their own. And I just realized how empty my summer life will be.

Here's the last year of one of the worst phases of my life. I'm going to miss it terribly; I'm going to miss the people terribly. So why not go all out, right?

Right. But tell me this, how is that possible when everyone's gone? How am I to hold my own? Continuing conversations with friends? I hope you know how difficult that is. There are always claims of how people will keep in touch and what not... but really. Who's willing to do so?

I don't know anymore. This is much too much pessimism for me.

I'll have fun. Right?