Friday, March 23

A Drunken Slur of Opinion and Thought

Partial lie. I'm very tired and not drunk (or is it the other way around?). Eh, it doesn't matter all that much anymore.

Jazzy left for Las Vegas today. Weber left for his poker tournament. Dustin disappeared. Michelle willingly chooses her other friends over her Deca-buddies. Is this what usually happens after 9-10 months of being cooped up with these kids? Are the rest of us left to wander the streets in the never-ending aim to continue these friendships?

All I can say is that I hope not. Hopefully, we can all move from this... move away from the Deca obsession and live life "normally" again erstwhile maintaining these bonds that we've created in only months. After having come home from lunch with Eu, Al, J-dizzle, Bready, Yo-yo, and Jonah, it actually struck me how much I'm going to miss these people. Of course Jazzy, Dustin, Michelle, and Weber weren't there, but still. We all went through our own personal issues and may have even been involved in the personal affairs of others. We've become a family. All the quirks that may have vexed us soon became endearments that characterized the individuals that we are. I've always known that I would miss it, but not until now did that realization bring me down.

Not to digress too much, I wish to congratulate El Camino once again for winning first place. We've all worked hard for that spot, and that spot apparently went to a school who worked just as hard as we did. Kudos to that, my friends. But I'm not going to lie. Deep down, somewhere around the area where a heart should be, I may always hate you guys. It really is nothing personal. I may not have met the whole team, but I respect you guys for the indifferent kindness you've shown us. Of course, there were times when a lot of the top schools would butt heads and even loathe each other just to keep that competitive spirit, but to judge you all on that basis is wrong. You all are essentially good people. Yet I have found one reason to hate you.

You've taken away my team's purpose. You've taken the purpose of my confidence, the essence of my character. Had Granada won first place, we'd be studying right now. To be honest, I want that back. I want that intensity. My team and I want that reason to see each other once again. What is there at school for us? Make-up classwork and fellow students who don't understand and friends whom we haven't had contact with in a long while. Of course, now we have all the time in the world to catch up on what we missed. We have time to actually enjoy life. But... my team and I miss each other.

Please don't point out the fact that we're all practically girls (besides Dustin). Our gender has nothing to do with it. As I've said before, we're a family. I know now that my language isn't that clear nor is my reason for this entry. But I just wanted to make it known publicly that even though I respect the El Camino team, I cannot get over the fact that now, my team actually has time to think and worry about the day we graduate; now, we have time to think of how much we'll actually miss our sorry asses off for each other.