Random Musings of a Teacher's Assistant

I really don't know what to say. That is the basic summary of the course my life has now taken.

Things are well while the rest could be improved on. But do not misunderstand, I don't wish to complain. My contentment in the mediocrity of school and everything before the ultimate summer vacation is, hopefully, normal. Hopefully.

Again, I find myself apathetic towards everything and everyone, not giving one shred of care for anything. And I'm happy that with that. But sadly, this cannot continue for this will bring my downfall once again. I don't want to find myself calling that damned suicide hotline, sending emails to the Samaritans, and typing up sob stories of my "oh-so-pathetic" life. I don't want to articulate the feeling of loss in both my heart and in my hands. I don't want to be sad and brood about it. I don't want pity.

So I'm happy in this indifference that doesn't seem bent out to consume my life. In this absence of major emotion, I have the chance to view things in a much more rational manner, finding myself basking in the glory of not-worrying. And that, my friend, is something seemingly rare in high school.

But high school's about to end, and things are pretty much peachy-keen. Hopefully this continues...

--

... But I really wouldn't mind if another something really wonderful happens.

Yes, I'm happy with him.