So I looked around me...

... And I noticed how everyone at church fit into the ideal image of a large, wholesome (in the lovely Christian sense) family.

And where was I? Within this so-called family, I would be considered the dark, sulky daughter even (dare I say it?) the rebel? As odd as it may be, it is there that I feel most uncomfortable. Now this is where the misunderstandings begin.

Of course I don't mean that the services make me uncomfortable. However, after that, when socializing is supposed to take place, I find myself displeased with my current surroundings. There is nothing that I hold against my fellow church-goers nor is there anything I particularly dislike about them.

There just exists within me this natural tendency to just shy away from their [not-so-surprisingly large] groups. No, I don't care where the latest clubs are. No, I don't care what what's-her-face with whatever-his-name-is. And no, I just don't want to be sucked into a world that to me, seems so... fake.

Having been raised in a religious family, I have come to embrace the central belief system. And to be honest, it never got me into trouble. If anything, it kept me from the worst. Yet whatever happened to those lessons that were taught to us? No prying? Then why do you care if those two are going out?

Let's face it. We're all practically living double lives. But what I find borderline hilarious is the absolute denial that everyone lives in. Of course we do things that the others would frown upon. Of course. But why the lies? Why the deceit?

Yes, I admit it. I do lead a double life. No, neither of them is fake for they both happen to be pieces of my core. I respect rectitude; I respect fun. I have no problem admitting to someone that I have indeed done things that I regret...

... but please. Don't create a mental picture of me in your mind without fully comprehending who I am. Sure, I may be the quiet girl once in a while, but silence does not rule every waking moment of my life. This is nonsense I refuse to uphold.

I am Leslie. And I am flawed.