Certain Notes to Certain People Part I

I miss you terribly. This is for you.

This is probably going to be the most pathetic and for that reason (though it's not the only one), you must be the first. Yes, you were one of my boys, but I guess many say that you were more. And I don't disagree.

I cannot say the word "love" in this description for it will forever mar that word... but I did adore you like no other. You were like the others, and yet you still chose to stick around with my insanity. For while, I thought I had infected you with my craziness. It took me 2 months to realize that you were, in fact, crazy to begin with. But my admiration for you only grew.

And it remains to this day... and I confess that you are one of those people who leave such an impressionable mark on someone like me that it becomes hard to forget. Being one of the coolest kids I've ever met, you truly deserved more than what your heart gave you. But life is life, and it eventually ends. I'll visit you again on the 16th of February with the red dress. Together, we will mock the day set aside for lovers.

That is what I wrote for you one day, one of the many I find myself thinking about the past and the possible future. Against your spoken wishes, I thought of the what-ifs and at some point, I remember crying. For what I don't recall. But what, or who, I do recall is you. I confess that there are times when random thoughts of pies or muffins just drift to you. C'mon, you're a difficult person to forget easily, even at all. MANY girls would attest to that (me for different reasons... I hope).

I know that it would be impossible for you to get a hold of whatever goes on in what I'm typing right now, but as you did know, it helps to be an idiot sometimes and talk about your feelings. Right? Right.

But I really do miss you. Sorely. And I also confess that I feel bad at times when I laugh alongside someone else since there is a good chance that that someone else would still have been you. No worries, my thoughts of you won't continue to linger in my mind forever... but shall exist for said amount of time.

You made me promise you many things, one of them being that I would not stop myself from being happy no matter what. So trust me, I'm working on it.

P.S. That turned out quite sappy, which surely would make you scold me in a mild manner. All I have to say to that is this: That's for making me touch a tarantula.