It's been quite a while since I last poured my entirety onto a measly web page. I discovered that he actually does read this and I, now self-conscious, stop myself from typing down anything too revealing. But I seize this very moment in time when such inhibitions are nonexistent to live that one facet of my soul that raises only self=scorn.
Sensing his absence on the other side of the camera, I decided to verbally unload the burdens that settled into my mind this past few weeks. I don't choose to leave all else out; it is only inevitable that I forget. So here exists the most important thing.
In no way do I enjoy any overflow of emotion. If anything, I prefer emotional neutrality, deeming emotions dangerous when they manage to gain complete control. Which is why, as the most logical solution, I "told" him this:
Only for you am I willing to take a broken and battered heart. Only for you.
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Minor Fall
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- The Humansong
- A song sung to convince someone to love you... Every humansong is as unique as a fingerprint. When you open a window in the spring, the air is sometimes filled with them. --Nicole Krauss